So what’s it really like to be a Ph.D. student? While it’s impossible to fully capture the nuances of years’ worth of graduate study, with all of its trials and tribulations, a quick Google search returns a multitude of Ph.D. memes offering a rich (and funny!) tapestry of perspectives about the graduate experience. But are they true?

From the acres of books on every grad student’s reading list to the challenges of navigating the arcane traditions of academia, Ph.D. memes illustrate many of the pitfalls that often come with the territory of pursuing a doctoral degree. But don’t let these hot takes on the challenges of getting a Ph.D. scare you off! Stick around while we dissect popular Ph.D. memes and separate fact from fiction. 

These are a few common themes found in Ph.D. memes: 

  • Graduate school is lonely and isolating. 
  • Graduate students are always stressed. 
  • Dissertation chairs are the worst. 
  • It’s impossible to finish a Ph.D. 
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#1 Graduate School is Lonely

The memes don’t lie: there’s some truth to this. When talking about the hazards of graduate school, loneliness is a common refrain. Some graduate students do experience feelings of isolation during their programs, and it’s not hard to understand why. 

Earning a Ph.D. is perhaps the most rigorous intellectual exercise a person can attempt, and the coursework requires many hours of reading and writing every week–and that’s before you even start thinking about your dissertation. 

While it’s easy to isolate yourself during your Ph.D. program in order to keep up with the demands of your workload, it’s also critical to regularly come up for air. One question that I always like to ask students prior to starting their Ph.D. program is what their support system looks like. Keep in mind that having a social life and being around people is an important key to mental health and general well-being, and having that support will help you get through the most solitary stretches of your Ph.D. program. 

#2 Graduate Students are Always Stressed

Ph.D. memes make it seem like every moment of graduate school is laced with the nerve-wracking frisson of soul-deep stress. Like every grad student persists only through a combination of teeth-gritting willpower and an IV drip of caffeine. 

While pursuing a Ph.D. is no walk in the park, the memes exaggerate. Will you spend hours upon hours every semester with your nose buried in research? Yes, absolutely. Is the stress constant and unrelenting? Of course not. Or, at least, it shouldn’t be. 

The stress of a Ph.D. program should not be overwhelming, and if it is, the program that you’re in may be a bad fit for you. Another possibility is that you’ve found the right program, but at the wrong time. The demands of a Ph.D. program are a lot on their own, and when external stressors are added to the mix (caregiving responsibilities, relationships, financial strain, etc.), it can be too much. If the stress of your Ph.D. program becomes a burden to your mental health, it’s probably a good time to step back and reevaluate your priorities. 

For less serious cases of feeling overwhelmed, there are plenty of good ways to ease stress during your Ph.D. program. When I was in graduate school, I always looked forward to weekend outings with my friends from my cohort. 

Getting out in nature is another great way to take your mind off of your work, if only for a few hours. Whether it’s going to the gym, spending time on a favorite hobby, or binge-watching a show, pencil some relaxation into your busy schedule. 

#3 Dissertation Chairs are the Worst

Another common theme in Ph.D. memes is the dreaded contentious relationship between graduate students and their dissertation chairs or advisors. Sometimes portrayed as a dragon to be slain before the grad student can claim their rightful place in the hallowed halls of academe, dissertation chairs are often characterized by their sharp teeth–and sharp tongues. No matter the discipline, the rapport between student and advisor is generally perceived as being adversarial. But it shouldn’t be. 

As a graduate student, having a strong relationship with your dissertation chair is vital, and it can take some work. Before approaching a faculty member to chair your dissertation committee, make sure that you know what to look for when trying to fill this important role. 

Choose a chair who has time to work with you and can be invested in your project. An ideal chair is one who communicates and is responsive, as well as someone who will advocate for your research. Selecting the right chair will save you a lot of headaches in the future. 

#4 It’s Impossible to Finish a Ph.D. 

Of all the sentiments frequently featured in Ph.D. memes, the idea that completing a doctoral degree is akin to performing a miracle is perhaps the most pernicious. While I see the humor in many Ph.D. memes (and I’ve even been known to post them on my office door), I also think that accepting this narrative as reality is self-defeating. When you are admitted into a Ph.D. program, it’s because you’ve already demonstrated the qualities needed to be successful in that program. Keep that in mind. 

While there is some variation across disciplines and specific programs, the path to earning a Ph.D. is well-traveled. Legions of scholars before you have been in your shoes, and you’ll face the same challenges that they did. So laugh at the memes all you want and don’t hesitate to share them, but do so with the knowledge that while they may have a grain of truth, they also depict the extremes and have no bearing on your success. Save your favorites for your own office door, and then get back to work.